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|My Inner World|
~Monday, June 23, 2008 ~
finally, another postwell, haven been going online alot for the past 3 months coz no more internet at home le.. sibei boring arh.. so anyway been hanging out more w other guys, esp dear ian, kev, joe, zhala....
just to keep things more up dated, im now with joe again... hahaha how did that happened? well well, it's really complicated and i dun wana say alot right here/now but i can totally tell that he really really likes me alot.. i guess this is WAY more impt than everything else to me and im glad we r where we r now... he actually said some stuff tt really touched my heart( not mushy stuff la) and i know that it's not something an average guy would say to anyone.. im really happy being with him and so does he.. i duno where this will every lead to anything but it doesnt really matter to me than to be with him at least for the next 1 yr... if situation arises/occurs, i will be mentally prepared to let him go, even though the pain will be there.. i rather be truthful to myself n my feelings than to regret not telling it or nothing happening at all for the rest of life, as i did regret once (sort of)
as i've told him n so did he, we will always be frds, no matter what happens.. coz we treasure our frdship much more than being together... i hope things will stay this way forever (ok, for as long as it can) coz im really happy being with him.
i'll post another entry soon! (when i reach SG n got lotsa time to think wat to type hehe)
~Saturday, April 26, 2008 ~
life's complicatedoh well.. 让我用华文来写这个blog, 我会尽力去表达我的心情。
just to be updated about the recent activities,
前男友得知最近我跟另一位男生蛮要好的，上个周末我们谈了一会儿（more than tt)，他向我诉苦那个周末连接发生的倒霉事情／坏消息，然后提出想要复合的念头。最终，我还是决定不可能的。我已经把我对他喜欢的感情已经熄灭了，以好朋友的身份来看待他。
他真的应该得到他应得的教训，因为他是个大蠢蛋。当我们在一起的时候，我们有谈过这个话题。我也不想多说了（very tiring to type in chinese.. hehe) 他蛮dulan的，他说他和这个男生的类型是一样的， 为什么我还选择这样的人。我回答不知道，你可以说我是个失败者吧。
personally, 我觉得这个男生跟他比起来是way better的。虽然我承认经前男友那么说，我现在有所保留（一点）。无论如何，该发生的会发生吧， 只是现在的情况有点尴尬， 因为他们两个在同一个乐队一起练习和演出，我习惯性的hang around这班人， 所以会很奇怪。
ok i must go now... rehearsal for a percussion gig tml... til next time! =)
~Sunday, April 13, 2008 ~
hmmm complicatedoh well, i guess things are getting a tiny winy complicated right now...there's this other guy in school n i can sense his keen interest in me.. but we r just frds n now we have more classes together due to the new grouping n schedule..
im kinda confused whether to go ahead or just leave it as it is.. i have already 死心了 regarding the 1st guy i was with but things r so busy in school right now i dun think i shd go ahead though... and he's really busy w music anyway... i dun really know how things will work out seriously.. he's pretty nice in his ways (likewise for the 1st guy) but i think im not mentally prepared for another r/s right now... i think i would need to talk to him real soon...
we hanged out this morning( after the welcome party and the post-party party) in my room as part of the post-party-party chillout.. the survivors... me marc (from germany) n him.. it was really fun n i think i was being nonsensical n showed them photos of me n the trips i went to.. italy, wmc and back in SG... my best friends...sentosa.. the luge..etc..
rather than using confused, i think it's more of 不知所措。。怎么办？
~Saturday, April 05, 2008 ~
嗨，完了真是的。。 这么快就结束了。。我早就预料到这是没结果的，但是我还是无奈的陷入这个爱情的圈套。（我相信）我们是真心的喜欢彼此的，但是对感情的定义不同。我知道男人，尤其是他，都不想被女人绑着，没有自由， 没有自己的身活。他一向来都向往自由自在的日子，无拘无束的创作音乐，尽情的敲击他的鼓，寻找音乐的天地， 环游世界，认识不同的女孩，等等。
虽然如此， 我们依旧还是好朋友，因为我们太在乎我们之间的友情， 他并不想伤害我，所以这样就结束了。其实我并不在呼这么多，在一起的时候开心我就满足了，但既然他都提出了，我也只好放手吧。
~Wednesday, April 02, 2008 ~
finally for an update!ok been real busy w school jan-mar... so didnt update n nothing to update.. hehe
but now it's time to update!
it's 2nd wk of break now n next wk start sch again.. :( will be real real busy so i may post once in a while..
im currently attached to this vegas boi boi most recently and he's really Zai lo... hee tt aside, the feeling is abit mixed up seriously.. but i'll just take things one step at a time k.. it's the same american guy mentioned in some post earlier.. oh well it was kinda weird how we got together... haha i didnt really think tt this will ever happen but it's happening now anyway.. lol
really nice sweet guy... been keeping him company coz he just moved near sch n the place was in a deep shit of mess n poor him had to move his stuff to n fro the old place, his mum's home n the current home.. he's got ALOT of stuff lo.. -_-'' i didnt help him much in the process coz my hands are injured n i have to rest n let them heal.. felt kinda helpless man.. and he had to make sure i dun go to sch n practise so i was just clinging on to him.. hehe and thru out the week, he was breaking ties with his good frd at his old home.. poor him.. i can tell he's really upset about the frd n how the frd was treating him like a piece of shit (the frd is damn zai on piano btw but the attitude arh.. bleargh) all of the sudden... He was always busy in his tots so i just kept quiet n watch him think lo.. wat else can i do.. he has been ranting about the frd n his frds has been calling him to ask him wat happened n he's pretty agitated whenever he talks, not super agitated la coz he's one cool guy... duno how to say.. i hope tt he doesnt feel tt im clinging on to him too much coz tt wasnt my intention.. coz he wanted to go out of town this wk so i tot maybe i shd just spend more time last wk w him.. i had fun doing nothing n spending time with him... he cooks too! where to find such a guy.. lol.. clean the house, cooks, play great drums, produce his own music etc! seriously...with a phd in physiotherapy mum with a underpaid job... i did agree w him tt the mum shd get out of US! haha definitely can get higher pay jobs in some other parts of the world...
i come to realise tt US is not tt great at all... it's horrible! so everyone shd stop having this impression tt US is a place where u can make ur dreams come true.. it's bullshit!! hehe with horrible health policies n horrible treatments.. (if u r sick u have to wait for 6hrs b4 u can see the doctor!) how can u wait when u felt like u r dying?! it's not even waiting in queue in a singapore polyclinic lo.. it's just waiting in a normal clinic or hospital... this is serious bullshit.. i certainly hope i do not need to go to the hospital A&E anytime... haha alot of ranting tt i can go on about... hehe but i shall stop here about the complains.. b4 US gov decide to hunt me down n expede me out.. keke
back to the vegas boi, he learnt kung fu b4! mai siao siao lo... he really knows! n he also went to learn samurai stuff too... it's crazy!!
i think i shd stop.. hehe seriously i havent seen him for more than 2 days n i dun really miss him... i think that 1 whole week together is way too much le.. hahaha he shd be feeling the same way too... kekeke
since we started at the beginning of sch break, we were thinkin not to publicise this in sch.. but i dun really know how he thinks about it now.. coz last fri we went to a frd's bday party n thinkin back now, i realised tt i sort of ignored him the whole time! i think he's like angry but im not tt sure though.. well, he's the one tt said tt he wana see how long can we keep this under wrap ma... i hope we will meet tonite though... =) maybe i'll bring this up if he's already done with all his moving house thing, settling the old house thing etc..
~Wednesday, January 02, 2008 ~
my new yr resolution 2008oh well, actually i never think about it but i was talking to aaron (refer to the other blog) and he gave me tips/idead tt became my new yr resolutions
i must be seen n known to the teachers and students
how? always be the first to go up n play in EW and all classes
always go jamming or jio ppl to jam..
hang out w bassists(***) and vocalists.. they'll be the ones calling u up for jobs
hang out w drummers lo... can get subbing and percussion gigs.. hehe
there's a typical mindset based on ur race/nationality. eg, if u r brazilian, they think u can play brazilian/afro cuban songs really well, if u r black, they see u as a groover... (wat about me?! im nothing! tt's why i need to be seen and let ppl know what r the things i can do)
teachers can be a good help if i really wana hang ard US after i grad and sub their gigs
transcribe 1 song n jam w it every wk, different genre each week. **VERY IMPT!**
PLAY W FEEL N GROOVE IS EXTREMELY IMPT! coz alot of guys can play technically well, feel wise, still need to work on...so if u got feel, u standout.
make gd frds wherever u go, coz they r the ones tt give u gigs, whether u r good or not-so-good. build contacts!
on the side note, aaron mentioned tt cruise job pays extremely well, but u may have to pay the price of losing ur contacts.. if u get the job for a yr n then renew for 3 yrs, u can apply for green card after tt... it's tt simple! and u dun have to spend a single cent working on board... hmm.... im really interested but not for 4 yrs! maybe in asia tt will be cool... cruise job is also a good training grd coz u'll be forced to play all kinds of music n u play everyday! (seriously, why not?)
tt's all i rem for now... hee thanks alot to aaron for his kind words n advice... btw, he n andrea can cook really well! =D
~Saturday, December 22, 2007 ~
死心了我猜对了。 there is something going on. 我只好忠心的祝福他们。
Music - Princess Hours - Stay
Gedo Senki (Tales From Earthsea) - Trailer (lovely music!)
Arctic Monkeys - A View from the Afternoon (i lurve the MTV!)
my world of history
w4rnawarni : listen to the music